~deadelegantfree

I wish I could save every single one that needs a home. It's very sad.

cuz I like stuff!

it's now been a week and the pain is still just as much as it was last week. I cannot stop missing her. I try so hard to just go about my normal daily life, but everything reminds me of her. last night was valentine's day and although i was with mike and had a great time, I spent a lot of it crying, and his parents were understanding, but I just have to keep trying. tomorrow is work so that will be hard. sometimes i feel numb and can't cry and want to so bad and then other times I cry so much that I cannot seem to stop. It's a very long process, I am coming to find out. But I want to show the pain of my missing her because it helps me move on with closure and stuff. still, it's just very very hard for me since I really have never been through this before

it's now officially been three days and it still is very hard for me to accept. I had to leave work yesterday because I was crying far too much and the grief just sucks, believe. Today was the last time that I ever will see my grandmother in a physical state. she is to be cremated and I still cannot seem to accept her passing. I don't cry but I feel this pang deep inside of my heart somewhere and no one nor nothing can seem to fill this empty void, this hole right in the middle of my chest cavity. It's really hard and stuff and mike is there for me whenever I need to talk and I appreciate it immensely it from him, I really do love him a lot. and I just am glad to be with my family in the wake of this tragedy. but now the question is, how long till my beloved poppop passes? when that happens, I have no idea how I will be reacting, this situation is just beyond my comprehension at the moment. Nothing is really sinking in yet. I want to cry, I feel it, but it just won't come. I just think that I need to be held right now, don't you?

<font size=1>

My grandmother died at 8:05pm, February 8th, 2008. She will not be forgotten.

<img src="http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b359/BlankGreenEyes/Grandma/n505522802_444048_6736.jpg">